Indsendt: 02/20/2020 | 20. februar 2020
Kristin Addis fra BE My Travel Muse skriver vores almindelige kolonne på solo kvindelige rejse. Det er et væsentligt emne, jeg kan ikke tilstrækkeligt dække, så jeg bragte ind en ekspert til at dele hendes vejledning for andre kvinders rejsende til at hjælpe med at dække emnerne afgørende og specielt til dem! I denne måneds artikel udforsker hun de dobbelte standarder, der følger med solo kvindelige rejser.
Jeg skyndte mig til porten på Julius Nyerere lufthavn i Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania. Som agenten kontrollerede mit pas, kiggede han omkring mig og forvirret, spurgte, om jeg var alene.
Jeg havde lige afsluttet fire måneder af solo, der rejser op fra Sydafrika, en af de bedste og mange berigende solo-ture i mit liv og svarede det ja, jeg var alene.
“Din mand lader dig gøre det?” Han spurgte utroligt.
Jeg forstår det. I Tanzania er det utænkeligt for en kvinde, især i hendes sene tyverne, som jeg var, at rejse alene. Jeg lader ham forsigtigt vide, at ingen “lader” mig gøre noget, og at jeg er ugift.
Mens jeg nyder godt af at skifte paradigmer, når det er muligt, spekulerer jeg stadig på, hvad det ville være, hvis jeg var en mand. Hvordan ville jeg opfattes, når jeg solo rejser eller skriver om det? Hvordan ville folk behandle mig anderledes?
1. De ville ikke spørge mig om, hvorvidt min mand “lader mig” rejse alene.
Fra Tanzania til Filippinerne er jeg blevet spurgt, hvor min kæreste eller mand er. Jeg vedder praktisk taget ingen ville spørge mig om min kæreste lader mig rejse alene, hvis jeg var en mand.
Jeg ville ikke nødt til at stille spørgsmålstegn ved, om jeg burde lyve for at være single. Jeg ville ikke argumentere iført et decoy bryllup band. Min sikkerhed ville ikke være bundet i min ensomhed.
2. De ville ikke stille spørgsmålstegn ved, om en kæreste eller far betaler for mine ture.
Er det så usædvanligt at tro, at en kvinde kan finansiere sin egen livsstil? Hvorfor er der en så gennemgribende myte, som kvinder, der rejser solo, bliver bankrollet af nogen?
Når jeg rejser, betaler jeg for det, og når jeg rejser med min partner, deler vi det 50/50.
Jeg vedder på, at jeg ikke ville sige, at hvis jeg var en mand, selvom.
3. Folk kan spørge, når jeg planlægger at træne ned, men de ville ikke gøre det med en sådan hyppighed og ret til svaret
Måske bosætte sig med et hvidt picket hegn, 2,5 børn, og en hund, der hedder Spike, plejede at være normen, men vi har meget mere mobilitet i disse dage og internettet og for mange mennesker alligevel. Så hvorfor er det så darn vigtigt for folk, at jeg til sidst træner ud?
Jeg tror på en måde, det siger: “Hey, det var den eneste mulighed, jeg gav mig selv, og nu skal du følge med.” For dem, der overholder forventningerne, er det ubehageligt, når andre afviger fra normen, især kvinder.
Men jeg er ikke bekymret for det. Hvis og når jeg vælger, gør jeg det, og hvis jeg ikke gør det, er det også ok. Jeg nærmer mig dette meget mere som en mand, okay?
Også komme ud af mine æggestokke.
4. Jeg ville blive kaldt eventyrlystne og en explorer snarere end uansvarlig og dum.
Hvis jeg rejste solo som en mand, selvom der var noget uheldigt, ville jeg blive kaldt en udforsker og elsker af livet.
Alligevel som kvinde, jeg er blevet kaldt dum, advaret, at jeg ville blive “fundet død og kannibaliseret” og anklaget for at lede andre kvinder til deres død (bare se på kommentarerne på denne video, det værste, som jeg faktisk har slettet ).
5. Jeg ville ikke være advaret, at jeg ville “blive voldtaget”, hvis jeg rejste alene.
Hvis jeg var en mand, ville jeg kun have en 6,6% chance for at blive fortalt, at jeg ville “blive voldtaget”, hvis jeg rejser alene, versus næsten 70% som en kvinde.
Dette er problematisk på så mange niveauer, det er værdigt for sit eget indlæg.
6. Jeg vil kunne bære det, jeg vil have.
På nogle steder kan jeg ikke bære det, jeg vil have. Jeg forstår, at beskedenhed er indbygget i kulturen på mange steder rundt om i verden, og jeg respekterer det og assimilerer, når i disse lande.
Men det betyder ikke, at jeg må lade som om, at jeg glæder mig over at bære lange ærmer og bukser i 90 graders vejr med 90% fugtighed, mens de unge drenge får brug for shorts og tankplader.
7. Jeg ville ikke have haft nødt til at spekulere på, hvad fanden at gøre, når de hjørnet i en elevator i Santiago af to store mænd og sagde saltende ting til mig på spansk.
Da jeg rejste gennem Patagonia med en mandlig ven, chikanerede ingen mig, forudsat at jeg ikke var tilgængelig. Yet when we parted ways so that I could solo travel — something that was essential to me to do — the catcalls started pouring in.
Sadly, I’ve been catcalled in practically every country that I’ve been to, even the ones you’d least expect (yet not whatsoever in southern and eastern Africa — points for Africa!). It ranges from “ciao bella” to being chased down the sidewalk.
It is not a compliment, it’s an assertion of power, and it’s exhausting.
In Santiago, it crossed the line into frightening when two huge men got into an elevator with me, hovered over me, and harassed me. It was the ideal place, because who could help me in there?
Would that have happened to a man?
(On the positive side, if I were a man, locals might not be as concerned with taking care of me as numerous are. people might also not count on me outright the way they do. best or wrong, women tend to be perceived as much more peaceful and gentle and in need of protection.)
8. nobody would have assaulted me in public in Nepal.
In Pokhara, Nepal, after a random power cut, the sun was setting and I realized I needed water to drink to get through the evening. though I choose not to walk alone when it gets dark, I had to do so in that instance.
I heard myself scream before realizing that a local male had grabbed my breast. I whirled around and saw nothing but the back of his head as he ran away like the coward he is.
Everyone nearby just pretended like they hadn’t seen anything, of course.
9. but maybe the police would have taken me much more seriously.
I wonder, if I’d been a man demanding the police take notice, would they have listened to me? would the officer still have rolled his eyes and acted like I was destroying his night by demanding an escort back to my guesthouse?
I can only wonder if it would have been different.
10. Insulting my ass would not be the topic of discussion on a post about road trips.
When women share about something like travel on social media, why is body shaming still a thing?
Why, on a post about road trips of all things, does someone feel the need to inform me that my ass is flat? Does that happen to men too? Jeg tror ikke.
11. I wouldn’t have had an Internet stalker demand a naked selfie from me for months on all of my social platforms.
If being a solo female traveler is difficult at times, try writing about it. have any of my male peers ever been harassed for months on end, on every platform, by a stalker demanding a naked selfie?
Unfortunately, women are targeted online way much more than men. According to the BBC, one in three teenage girls have been sexually harassed online.
Why can’t we just share our travel pictures in peace?
12. I wouldn’t get a flood of comments from delicate males on messages like this.
It always happens, but I’m curious: Why ought to any egalitarian male, who has the ability to see things from someone else’s perspective, ever take this personally? Why does pointing out issues in our society automatically equate to blaming men?
Louder, for the ones in the back: it doesn’t.
***
Obviously, there are drawbacks for male solo travelers too — and benefits that only women who travel solo get to enjoy. There can be an implied count on element between women that transcends cultures, and time and time again, people have been generous towards me in ways that I didn’t expect.
In the end, I still love and champion solo female travel and believe that every woman ought to do it. I’m just sick of all the double standards and think it’s high time to call them out.
Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over eight years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s practically nothing she won’t try and practically nowhere she won’t explore. You can find much more of her musings at Be My travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.
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